Sunday, June 8, 2008
~Hiie all~
juz read some post on jokes,
so decided to post some here,
hope you all enjoy,
first
Some names you might not want to use when naming your kids:
Mandarin
Paul Chan - Bankrupt ,
Anne Chang - Dirty ,
Faye Chen - Dusty ,
Anne Chin - Keep quiet ,
Henry Mah - Hate your mum ,
Jane Tan - Frying eggs ,
Nelson Tan - Bird laying eggs,
Leslie Tong - Rubbish bin,
Hokkien,
Carl Cheng - Buttock ,
Monica Cheng - Touching your buttocks,
Lucy Leow - You are dead ,
Suzie Leow - Lost till death ,
Lim Yew Lin - Drink urine ,
Lim Teh Peng - Drink iced tea,
Danny See - Squeeze you to death,
Corrine Tai - Poor fellow ,
Rosie Teng - Screws and nails,
Carmen Tng - Leg hair long ,
Pete Tsai - Nose droppings ,
Cantonese
Connie Mah - Call your mother ,
Macy Koh - Never die before ,
Michael Tan - Sell eggs ,
Michael Loong - Sell chicken cage,
second one
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then: H-A-R-D-WR-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-NW-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-~-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
third
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple.
GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL: How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there??
forth
jokes bout women
1. Women are unpredictable.
Before married she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him,
and after death she respects him
2. There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her.
They got married - and now he is going thru hell.
3. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : "Wife wanted ".
Next day, he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing : "You can have mine."
4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife.
5. It's easy to tell if a man is married or not.
Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him.
If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.
6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers.
The letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000 I swear that we will kidnap your wife."
The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."
7. What's the matter, you look depressed."
"I'm having trouble with my wife."
"What happened?"
"She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days."
"But that ought to make you happy."
"It did, but today is the last day."
================================
Marriage Humour
In the beginning, -- God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
Before marriage, a man is not complete.
After marriage, a man is finished
kays,thats bout all
~bb all~
Killme;
on;
6/08/2008 08:33:00 PM
